He is hurt real bad. The fire got real mean after it hurt my mommy ‘cause I didn’t want to play anymore. I cried and told the fire to go away, so it smooshed my brother. His face looks bad, red and puffy. Like a burnt marshmallow.
Tell me about when Mr. Hanning and Mr. Strong met you.
Brita looks at the men behind the doctor. Mr. Strong looks impatient but Mr. Hanning smiles.
I didn’t like them at first.
They came the day after my mommy’s funeral. Riley, my brother, was still sleeping. I was crying, but I don’t want to cry anymore. I try and try but sometimes the tears escape. How do you stop tears? My mommy would know. She would tell me. But I can’t stop them. I can’t stop fire and I can’t stop crying.
Brita’s eyes widen and she looks like she will scream, but she breathes hard to hold back.
I never want to cry. I never want to scream. I never want to laugh. I never want to cry.
Dr. Scott looks alarmed, he wants explanation from Mr. Hanning and Mr. Strong, but he continues.
Will you continue to tell me about when you left with Mr. Hanning and Mr. Strong?
Brita lowers her shoulders and relaxes. But her breathing remains heavy.
I was sitting by my brother’s bed, just watching. Just thinking about the fire. My daddy was in the hall, whispering about the fire and crying. Mr. Hanning and Mr. Strong came in and said they wanted to buy me an ice-cream. Daddy said I should go.
Mr. Hanning held my hand as we passed the other rooms on our way to the cafeteria. He pulled out a chair for me, like a prince. I like him. He treated me like a princess. Even bought me a crown at the airport. It was sparkly and pink.
Brita half smiles at Mr. Hanning, careful not to let the corners of her mouth crease too far. Then she looks at Mr. Strong and shrinks.
Mr. Strong asked many questions about my mommy and about the fire. I didn’t like his questions. He scared me. Then he said he wanted to take me somewhere. Somewhere I would be safe from the fire. I didn’t want to go, I told him. I wanted to stay with my daddy.
But, we flew on a plane. I have never been in a plane before. It was long but fun. I fell asleep and then Mr. Hanning poked me and told me we were there. He carried me off of the plane. He took me to a small room, not like a princess’s room. It was small and bright. White walls, lots of light. But I fell asleep. The blankets were soft. They reminded me of the dream I had about being covered in burnt marshmallows. Except the covers were not sticky and gooey. I told the dream to Johny once and he told me he would buy a hundred marshmallows, burn them, and throw them at me.
Do you remember what happened the next day when you woke up?
‘Course I do.
Will you tell me about it?
Mr. Hanning came in to get me. We walked through a long hall. I saw Vicky and Johny go into a room, but the door was shut when we walked past. Mr. Hanning said we had to eat breakfast and meet some people. He took me to a room with windows everywhere. And there was a table with pancakes and sausage and eggs and milk and orange juice and potato things… Mr. Hanning said I could eat as much as I wanted as long as I listened to the people behind the glass and answered their questions…
Brita’s eyes narrow.
Those people are bad, bad people.
What did they do?
They’re just bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad.
Brita, I need to you tell me what they did.
I don’t want to.
Mr. Strong grunts and Brita shrinks again.
Brita, do you want to see your daddy?
Yes.
Then tell me what the people behind the glass did.
Brita sticks out her lower lip and bows her head.
There were three. A man, another man, and the mean woman. The woman looked like my teacher Mrs. Remming. Her hair was tight and pulled on her cheeks.
She didn’t smile. She asked me if I like fire. I told her yes but it killed my mommy. She said she wanted to see me play. She left with the men and I waited for some dolls to play with. But she didn’t come back. I looked around the room but there were no toys.
So I sat down and ate a sausage. It tasted good but it was cold. I tried the pancakes and eggs and they were as cold as ice cream. I don’t think the lady with the bun can cook very good.
Then the room got really cold. I shivered and my teeth made noises. I started to yell. I hoped maybe Mr. Hanning would come get me. But my fingers felt like icicles and I couldn’t pick up more sausage. I started to cry. I hated the window room. I wanted my mommy. I wanted my daddy. I crawled under the table and made myself into a ball.
Brita holds back another sob with a hiccup.
Then I heard the woman’s voice, on the intercom. She asked me what was wrong. I said it was cold. She said it needed to be cold so she could see me play. I started to cry. She started yelling at me about fire. But I just cried.
Brita hiccups three times, loudly.
I didn’t mean it to happen. I know it was my fault.
What was your fault?
No comments:
Post a Comment