Child's Fire: Part 5 (final)

Brita’s body tightens as if she is trying to hold something in. She doesn’t want to continue, but Mr. Strong looks mean and impatient, like he might hurt her.

The explosion. The fire. The lady was mad and I was cold. Suddenly, the room was only fire. My dancing friends were back. And they danced on everything. Everywhere. Fast. And it grew and grew real big. The fire was mad. The woman screamed. The men screamed. I heard many screams very fast. I was scared and I closed my eyes. And the fire danced and licked me sometimes but never hurt me. It wasn’t mad at me. It wanted to hurt the lady and the man.

I stayed under the table until it was gone. The table was gone and the building was gone. I was alone. I cried and cried until I dreamed. I dreamed of fire. I only dream of fire now. It doesn’t go away, and it is not my friend anymore. It wants to be, but I hate it. It’s a killer.

How did you get out of the building, or the rubble from the building?

Brita screams and Mr. Strong and Mr. Hanning look nervous. But Brita believes they are mad and want her to continue.

A man with a hose found me. He sprayed water all over me. He didn’t see me. He didn’t see that the fire was already gone. He sprayed everywhere and I shivered and started crying again. He picked me up and carried me to a truck with flashing lights. Told me he would take care of me. Told me I would see my daddy again.

Dr. Scott looks at the men behind him.

Is that as far as you wanted to go today?

Mr. Strong, who has been glancing at his watch every thirty seconds nods, with a look of relief. He and Mr. Hanning stand without a word. Brita watches as the two men leave the room. Just before the door closes, Brita calls out.

Mr. Hanning, please don’t leave me.

It’s okay, Brita. I just have to go talk to my secretary and then you can go. Can you wait right here until I come back?

Mr. Hanning closes the door. Dr. Scott puts his pen and notepad on the desk next to the dead flowers. He leans close to Brita and whispers.

Do you know who is behind the mirror, Brita?

No.

Bad people, Brita. They want to hurt your daddy and Riley. They are mean and they want to hurt you. They are watching you because they want to take you away where you will never see your daddy again.

Brita begins breathing faster, hiccupping faster.

Why?

They are bad, bad people.

Dr. Scott looks out the window and raises his voice.

It’s okay, Brita. I just have to go talk to my secretary and then you can go. Can you wait right here until I come back?

Brita tries to clamp her mouth shut but the hiccups prevent her. She is scared to be alone. She shakes her head at Dr. Scott.

It’s okay, Brita. I’ll be back.

Dr. Scott leaves the room. Brita looks at the mirror, then at the door. She runs to open the door, but it is locked. Her breathing is louder and quicker. Her hands become warm, and warmer, and warmer. She looks down and sees sparks dancing in her palms. She starts screaming.

Help me. Dr. Scott. Help me. Mr. Hanning. Mr. Strong. Heelllp meeee.

The sparks grow bigger and jump from her hands onto the carpet and chairs and walls. It consumes the dead flowers and quickly spreads throughout the room. Brita hears screaming from behind the mirror. The fire attacks the glass and explodes. Brita runs through the giant flames to the window; the oak desk is gone, eaten by the fire. She looks to the street below and sees Mr. Hanning, Mr. Strong and Dr. Scott watching from across the street.

Child's Fire: Part 4

He is hurt real bad. The fire got real mean after it hurt my mommy ‘cause I didn’t want to play anymore. I cried and told the fire to go away, so it smooshed my brother. His face looks bad, red and puffy. Like a burnt marshmallow.

Tell me about when Mr. Hanning and Mr. Strong met you.

Brita looks at the men behind the doctor. Mr. Strong looks impatient but Mr. Hanning smiles.

I didn’t like them at first.

They came the day after my mommy’s funeral. Riley, my brother, was still sleeping. I was crying, but I don’t want to cry anymore. I try and try but sometimes the tears escape. How do you stop tears? My mommy would know. She would tell me. But I can’t stop them. I can’t stop fire and I can’t stop crying.

Brita’s eyes widen and she looks like she will scream, but she breathes hard to hold back.

I never want to cry. I never want to scream. I never want to laugh. I never want to cry.

Dr. Scott looks alarmed, he wants explanation from Mr. Hanning and Mr. Strong, but he continues.

Will you continue to tell me about when you left with Mr. Hanning and Mr. Strong?

Brita lowers her shoulders and relaxes. But her breathing remains heavy.

I was sitting by my brother’s bed, just watching. Just thinking about the fire. My daddy was in the hall, whispering about the fire and crying. Mr. Hanning and Mr. Strong came in and said they wanted to buy me an ice-cream. Daddy said I should go.

Mr. Hanning held my hand as we passed the other rooms on our way to the cafeteria. He pulled out a chair for me, like a prince. I like him. He treated me like a princess. Even bought me a crown at the airport. It was sparkly and pink.

Brita half smiles at Mr. Hanning, careful not to let the corners of her mouth crease too far. Then she looks at Mr. Strong and shrinks.

Mr. Strong asked many questions about my mommy and about the fire. I didn’t like his questions. He scared me. Then he said he wanted to take me somewhere. Somewhere I would be safe from the fire. I didn’t want to go, I told him. I wanted to stay with my daddy.

But, we flew on a plane. I have never been in a plane before. It was long but fun. I fell asleep and then Mr. Hanning poked me and told me we were there. He carried me off of the plane. He took me to a small room, not like a princess’s room. It was small and bright. White walls, lots of light. But I fell asleep. The blankets were soft. They reminded me of the dream I had about being covered in burnt marshmallows. Except the covers were not sticky and gooey. I told the dream to Johny once and he told me he would buy a hundred marshmallows, burn them, and throw them at me.

Do you remember what happened the next day when you woke up?

‘Course I do.

Will you tell me about it?

Mr. Hanning came in to get me. We walked through a long hall. I saw Vicky and Johny go into a room, but the door was shut when we walked past. Mr. Hanning said we had to eat breakfast and meet some people. He took me to a room with windows everywhere. And there was a table with pancakes and sausage and eggs and milk and orange juice and potato things… Mr. Hanning said I could eat as much as I wanted as long as I listened to the people behind the glass and answered their questions…

Brita’s eyes narrow.

Those people are bad, bad people.

What did they do?

They’re just bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad.

Brita, I need to you tell me what they did.

I don’t want to.

Mr. Strong grunts and Brita shrinks again.

Brita, do you want to see your daddy?

Yes.

Then tell me what the people behind the glass did.

Brita sticks out her lower lip and bows her head.

There were three. A man, another man, and the mean woman. The woman looked like my teacher Mrs. Remming. Her hair was tight and pulled on her cheeks.

She didn’t smile. She asked me if I like fire. I told her yes but it killed my mommy. She said she wanted to see me play. She left with the men and I waited for some dolls to play with. But she didn’t come back. I looked around the room but there were no toys.

So I sat down and ate a sausage. It tasted good but it was cold. I tried the pancakes and eggs and they were as cold as ice cream. I don’t think the lady with the bun can cook very good.

Then the room got really cold. I shivered and my teeth made noises. I started to yell. I hoped maybe Mr. Hanning would come get me. But my fingers felt like icicles and I couldn’t pick up more sausage. I started to cry. I hated the window room. I wanted my mommy. I wanted my daddy. I crawled under the table and made myself into a ball.

Brita holds back another sob with a hiccup.

Then I heard the woman’s voice, on the intercom. She asked me what was wrong. I said it was cold. She said it needed to be cold so she could see me play. I started to cry. She started yelling at me about fire. But I just cried.

Brita hiccups three times, loudly.

I didn’t mean it to happen. I know it was my fault.

What was your fault?

Child's Fire: Part 3

Were you dreaming?

Yeah. It was a scary dream. Someone in a black robe was chasing me. I ran and ran. But he caught me. And I was so scared and I screamed. Then there was red everywhere.

And when you woke up?

Brita’s eyes are closed tight and her fists are clenched.

There was still red everywhere. All over my room, on my bed, on my window, at my door. But it didn’t hurt me. So I wasn’t scared and I started to dance. Like the nympie things I saw on a movie once. I danced and the fire danced. Then my mommy came in and she screamed. Her face looked like my jack-o-lantern. The scared one.

She called my dad who saw and got my brother. My mom couldn’t get through the fire. She tried and burned her arm. When she screamed I ran to her. But the fire told me she was okay. It was her fault.

Mommy kept yelling, “Brita, we gotta go. Brita, Brita, Brita.” She grabbed my arm real tight and dragged me away from the fire. But the fire didn’t want us to go. It followed us out my bedroom door, down the hall, into the kitchen—did a little dance on the countertop, I laughed—and out the house. Mommy ran and I tried to go back to the fire.

Your mother made it out, out of the house?

We all got out. Mommy, daddy, me, Riley, the dog.

Then, can you tell me how she died?

Tears are stream down Brita’s face. She squeezes her eyes tighter.

It was an accident. A bad, bad accident. I didn’t want to lose the fire. I told it to follow. It would be okay. If we could dance, everything would be okay. It skipped to me. My mom yanked me away and I screamed. “Let me go,” I told her.

Brita lets out a sob but hides it with a hiccup.

I remember that is what I said. “Let me go. I want to be with the fire.”

My mom had a strange look on her face and started to cry. She grabbed me real tight and hugged me; she squeezed and squeezed. I wriggled and wriggled. She wouldn’t let go. The fire got mad and attacked her. Came right over her head and grabbed her.

Brita hiccups again.

I tried to stop the fire. But it told me it couldn’t stop. Once it starts, it doesn’t stop.

Dr. Scott pauses. He notices Brita’s shoulders shaking. He hands her the handkerchief from his jacket pocket. She looks at it and scrunches her face, trying to stop the tears.

What is this?

It’s like a tissue.

Brita sticks out her lower lip.

I don’t want it.

Dr. Scott sets it on the table beside Brita’s bed-like chair.

You may lie down if it will make you feel better.

Brita looks at the cushion.

No. I just want to see my daddy.

Dr. Scott looks at the two men behind him again. Mr. Strong points to his watch.

Can you tell me what happened to your brother, Brita?